A Loud Family Disunion
by W.G. Fenter
Summary: Lincoln and his family attend the Loud Family Reunion, where they meet their extended family. Things go awry and the reunion doesn't go as planned.
1. Prologue

**Prologue**

It was ten minutes to 10:00 AM and so far, things were certainly going pretty swell for eleven-year-old Lincoln Loud. Lori still had yet to puke from being carsick, Leni had not been put into a daze, Lana had not been shooting peas at him through a straw, and best of all, he was currently seated in the best spot of Vanzilla: the "Sweet Spot" reading one of his favorite Ace Savvy comics that he brought along to keep himself entertained while on the road. Today was going to be a huge day for both him and his family. They were on their way to the first Loud family reunion there has ever been in years.

Sitting to his right was his brainy, four-year-old sister Lisa Loud. She was currently conversing with with her dim, yet kind, sixteen-year-old sister Leni about their extended family they were going to meet soon.

"So if this is the Loud Family Reunion, why do some of our relatives have different last names?" Leni asked.

"That is due to the fact that our father's sisters _used_ to bear the same surname as him until they got married," the four-year-old answered.

"Ooh," her sister replied. "Does that mean if Lori marries Bobby, she'll adopt his last name?"

"You think?" Lisa responded in an annoyed tone.

"Of course Leni, and when it comes, it will literally be magical," Lori joining in on the conversation with a dreamy tone of voice.

"Will Aunt Shirley be there too?" Leni asked.

"Yes Leni. Aunt Shirley and Uncle Laverne will be at the reunion," Lisa answered, getting pretty annoyed with repeatedly answering Leni's questions.

" _I guess this still beats having to sit next to Luna,"_ the four-year-old thought to herself. _"Better than getting tinnitus."_

Lincoln mentally chuckled to himself. _"Hah. Coffee mug lady,"_ he thought to himself/ " _Wait...what?!_ "

"Well, whatever. I hope I could find someone that I could really relate to," Lola said joining in on the conversation as well.

"Yeah. And I hope they'll all laugh at my jokes," Luan said while joining in on the conversation also.

"Same here," Lynn said. "I hope there's gonna be someone I could play ball with," she continued.

"Well, your Aunt Lara used to be really like playing sports when she was kid. Didn't she honey," Rita replied.

"Yeah. When she was your age sports were her passion," Lynn Sr. inquired. "Boy I can't wait to see the whole gang again after all these years. And I'm also pretty sure Lincoln would get to know the boys around the place too. Ooh! Rosato Avenue! We're almost there!" With that, the passengers of Vanzilla we're embraced with excitement. They were coming close to their destination.

The 2016 Loud Family Reunion was to be held at the Grant Futterman Memorial Park in the hometown of Lynn Loud Sr, as well as the current residence of the Loud children's paternal grandparents. They needed the wide open space because they were expecting a lot of attendees.

"Ooh! There it is! Futterman Memorial Park!" Lori eagerly implied.

" _Okay Linc. It's time to make history,_ " Lincoln thought, while smiling to himself. " _I'm about to attend the first Loud family reunion in years, meet my extended family, and the outlook on the day seems pretty bright. What could go wrong?_ "

 _To be continued._


	2. Little Lulu

**Author's Note: I'm sorry I haven't updated this story in a while, and that is due to the fact that my computer crashed a couple weeks ago. I had a hard time recovering this and my other fan fictions that I was in the process of writing. So right now, I'm writing my stories on one of the older computers in my household. It seems like it will only be a matter of time before this one crashes as well. Well, enjoy what I wrote.**

As Vanzilla entered the parking lot of Grant Futterman Memorial Park, its passengers realized that it was half full with cars belonging the reunion's attendants. It was no doubt that there was to be more attendees to arrive after them.

"Hmm. Looks like we're early," Lynn Sr. said. "It looks like only half the family's here."

" _Only half the family? Dang."_ Lincoln thought to himself. "How many people are supposed to be attending this thing, Dad?" he asked his father.

"Saying that a lot of attendants would be joining us today, would be an understatement," Lynn Sr. answered. He then continued with, "There's gonna be my parents, also known as your paternal grandparents, your Great-Aunt Luann, your Aunt Shirley, your Uncle Laverne, their kids, your Aunt Lara, her husband, their kids, your Uncle Leslie, his wife, and their kids. Oh and if I remembered correctly, one of their daughter's fiance. Keep in mind, this is just to name a _few_."

"That many people?" Lincoln asked.

His father then replied, "Well of course! We're the Loud family! We've always been in large numbers dating back to the days your Great-Great Grandparents first came to this country."

"Well you know what they say, "two's a company, three's a Loud!" Ha ha ha!" Luan joked. This caused everyone in the van except her father to groan in annoyance. "Get it?"

Once Mr. Loud decided to park Vanzilla next to a nice-looking, crimson-colored car that seemed to belong to one of the young adults attending the reunion, everyone decided to get out.

When Lana opened the van door on her side, she accidentally hit the red car next to her. But luckily for her, she was able to retract it back both fast enough and far enough before anyone could really take any notice of what she did.

"Come on Lana! Quit wasting time!" Lola ordered, trying to exit the van along with the other siblings.

Lana decided that this was enough to convince her to exit Vanzilla. The rest of her siblings on her side of the van followed in suit.

Once everyone was out of the van, Lana shut the door and decided to check the damage she placed onto the other car she slammed the door on. There was a dent a little smaller than her fist, which also scraped the red paint straight off. She then put her hands in her pockets, started whistling, and began to walk away from the scene, acting innocent and pretending like nothing even happened before anyone could notice.

"Well, I better get the bowl of my gluten-free Lynn-guini and the tray of my gluten-free Lynn-sagna in the trunk for the reunion lunch," Lynn Sr. said before chuckling at the puns he just made.

"Oh and kids, don't forget your to take your stuff that you brought too." Rita addressed while putting Lily, who was dressed in her lavender shirt, blue pants, and white baby shoes, into the baby carrier strapped around her.

"Oh yeah! I have to get my axe if I wanna impress the family with my tunes," Luna said while heading to Vanzilla's trunk to get the case containing her signature purple guitar. "You said there was a stage at this park, right Dad?" she asked her father.

"Why yes. There is," he replied while getting the food he prepared for the reunion out of the trunk. "I remember many bands playing here on that stage when I was a kid," he continued.

"Ooh. This is gonna be like so great!" Leni expressed with excitement while getting her sewing kit from the trunk. She had hoped to impress the reunion attendants with her sewing and fashion designing skills.

"Yeah, I can't wait to show everyone Mr. Coconuts," Luan said. She then took the said the puppet's case out of the trunk before bringing out the wooden dummy itself and asking it "Do you wanna see our relatives, Mr. Coconuts?" It then replied, "I wood be happy to!" Luan chuckled at the joke she just made before replying, "Good one Mr. Coconuts." She also grabbed a small, yellow backpack full of other "stuff" she brought before moving along.

Lincoln caught a glimpse of this and asked, "Hey Luan, what's in the backpack?"

"Oh, nothing. Just _stuff_." she responded, trying to look as innocent as possible.

" _Well, whatever her "stuff" is, it can't be good. I better remind myself to avoid her as much as possible. You know, to avoid any chance of getting pranked._ " Lincoln thought to himself, while putting his Ace Savvy comic into his back jeans pocket.

Lynn was the next one to retrieve her stuff, which was a dufflebag continuing her football, soccer ball, baseball bat, baseball mitt, and of course her baseball.

"I hope there's someone coming that's good at playing ball, because I wanna face someone who's a real challenge," she proudly declared. "It's kind of a shame that this was all I was able to bring."

"I'm gonna read to them some of my poems," Lucy said while suddenly appearing out of nowhere, which caused Lynn to jump out of fright.

Lisa also went to the trunk to retrieve a case containing her chemistry set so she could show off to the family. "While you read to them your depressing verses, I plan to show them my knowledge of chemical science." she said.

"Well, I'm gonna show everyone how I walk down the runway while on the stage, right after my ribbon dance of course!" Lola declared while getting her pink ribbons from the trunk of Vanzilla. They were the last items needed to be retrieved from Vanzilla's trunk.

Lola's twin sister Lana then pulls out two frogs out of her overalls and says, "Well I can't wait to show the family Hops and Jeremiah."

With the younger twin getting the final item from the trunk, the family began heading towards the part of the park where the reunion was being held.

While walking on the concrete path directing the family to their destination, Mr. Loud began to feel nostalgic. " _Wow. This park sure has expanded a lot. It's certainly gotten much bigger since the last time I've visited._ " he thought while taking in the current scenery of the park.

This was true. When he still residing in the town, Grant Futterman Memorial Park only consisted of the stage and a few acres of open space surrounding it. In addition to that, the park now consisted of a fairly large playground for local children to play on, numerous trees planted in it to add a little to the scenery, a pond and fountain, a baseball field and extra acres of open space covered in green grass to top it all off. Grant Futterman Memorial Park was now huge enough to be the perfect place to hold the 2016 Loud Family Reunion.

"Huh?" Mr. Loud then noticed that some of the trees had been vandalized. They had been covered in spray paint and many initials that were carved into them.

"The nerve of some people," he contemptuously muttered to himself.

"Boy this sure is a big park. It's bigger than the park we have at home," Lincoln said to himself. He also caught glimpse of one of the park's tree's carvings and graffiti. Some of the carvings included a heart was the text "T + L" and the letters "LXL". He also saw the words "LAZR wuz here" spray painted onto the tree next to it. He then shrugged this off.

" _Probably just a bunch of teenagers fooling around,_ " he thought.

He was then brought out of his pondering by Lola's declaration of, "Just wait till I show the family these moves." She then took to the grass and began twirling her ribbons while doing a few dances that looked like they had been taken out of a ballet routine.

"Plié, jeté!" she gracefully chanted while performing these moves and twirling her ribbons.

" _Okay walking down_ _a_ _runway in those heels is one thing; but doing those moves in them is another,"_ Lincoln thought to himelf, while observing his six-year-old sister practice her combo of ribbon dancing and ballet.

However, he was caught off guard when he heard something rustling in the bushes. He then turned his head and could've sworn for a second that he may have saw a figure of some sort. He then turned his head back before hearing the same rustling again in another bush not too far away from him.

"What was that?" he asked himself. Before he could think of an answer he again heard even more rustling coming from yet another bush also not too far from him.

"It's probably just a squirrel," he said, trying to ease himself.

"A squirrel? Where?! Tell me!" Lana asked him, a bit louder than he expected. Lincoln was then taken aback a little by Lana's sudden appearence to him. That was something he'd expect from Lucy.

"Oh, a squirrel?"

"Yeah! You said there was a squirrel nearby." she eagerly said. The look on her face just told Lincoln that she wanted to catch the alleged squirrel and keep it as a pet.

"Well, there I heard something rustling in the bushes. But I'm not sure if it really is a squirrel. It could be...be...be a hill person who hides in the trees, who's now hiding in the bushes!" he frightfully suggested. A look of terror then consumed his face.

"Oh." was Lana's response. "Aaw. A hill person? I was hoping that I could actually catch a squ-" She was then interupted by the rustling noise in the shrubb next to her. This caught both her and Lincoln off guard. They were then met with a figure jumping out of the shrubb, which then startled the two; making Lana gasp and Lincoln exclaim "Aah! A hill person hiding in the bushes!"

The figure then looked up at them, before jumping back a bit and exclaiming, "Aah! Hill person?!Where?!"

From what they just took in, the thing that Lincoln and Lana had been hearing making all that noise in the bushes was just a four-year-old boy wearing a pair of short red overalls, that had was covered in dirt and grass stains with a striped t-shirt underneath, along with a pair of red and white shoes. His right knee had a band-aid placed on it. The boy also had messy brunette hair that was the same shade as Lisa's as well, although it was cut shorter. Across his face were freckles and brown eyes that matched the color of his hair. He also had one of his front teeth missing too.

"Hey, you're not a hill person or a squirrel," Lana said while pointing her index finger at the boy. "You're just a kid."

Lincoln then snapped himself out of his little shock and recomposed himself before stating "I knew that."

"Anyway, I'm Lana and this is my brother Lincoln." She then offered a friendly handshake to the boy.

"Lana and Lincoln? I knew you'd come. I was told that you would come," the boy stated while accepting Lana's offer of a handshake.

"Really?"

"Yep. My name's Linus."

"Well it's nice to meet you Linus," Lincoln said while shaking Linus' hand after he was done shaking Lana's. "I'm guessing you're attending the Loud Family Reunion in this park, aren't you?"

"Um. Yes?" Linus answered.

"Okay, good. We need someone who will show us where it is right now."

"Um. Okay. But can you guys do something for me right now. I need help doing something that someone told me to do." Linus inquired.

"Sure, anything for a fellow Loud," Lana agreed.

"What is it?" Lincoln asked.

"Just follow me," Linus replied. And with that the three went off.

While Lincoln and her twin sister were trying to catch up with her and her family, Lola was killing it with her ribbon dance routine.

As she exercising her little routine, Lola yelled out, "I am Lola Loud! Worship me!"

Then out of nowhere, a voice cried out "PWINCESS!"

Lola didn't have any time to react. Before she knew it she was on the grass and someone had her in their clutches.

"Ow! What the-"

"PWINCESS!" the assailant cried out.

The six-year-old was still trying to take in what had just happened. One moment she was practicing her ribbon dance, the next moment she was pinned on the ground by someone that looked to be about half her age.

"Argh! Get off!" Lola cried out while struggling to escape her grasp that she currently trapped in.

"What the heck just happened?!" Lynn cried out.

"Who is that?" Leni asked.

It was here, Lola's parents and sisters got the whole view of Lola's would-be "attacker." It was a three-year-old girl wearing a red short-sleeved dress with white polka dots and black Mary Jane shoes. She had her jet-black hair in a braid that was held together by a red ribbon that also had white polka dots on it. The family also noticed that she had a leash of some sort strapped around her torso.

"Whoever she is, get her to let go of me!" Lola exclaimed, still attempting to get the two-year-old off her.

"Oh come on Lola. Get a grip. Ha ha ha! Get it?" Luan said, trying to bring light on the situation using humor. This only made everyone groan in annoyance.

"Don't worry dude! I'm coming!" Luna shouted, putting her stuff off to the side to aid her sister.

She then grabbed the toddler's leash and tried to pull her off of Lola.

"Come on man! Let go of her!" Luna ordered. She then asked her "Why did you tackle her?!"

The girl just responded with, "Pwincess! I want a pwincess!"

"Judging by that toddler's response, I believe that she believes Lola is of monarchical status. Probably basing it on the account that Lola is wearing a tiara, a fancy dress, and jewelry," Lisa declared. Leni just stared blankly at her comment, not understanding a word she just said. Lisa then sighed in annoyance before just blatantly stating: "She thinks Lola's a princess."

"Oh." Leni said.

"Well Lisa that's nice but would you mind helping me out?!" Lola shouted, still trying to escape the toddler's grasp.

While this was all going down, Lincoln, Lana, and Linus we're just starting to catch up with the family. The trio then caught the full glimpse of what was now occurring.

"Hey, what the-"

"What's that girl doing to my sister?!"

"Oh, Lincoln and Lana. You're just in time. Can you do your sister a favor and try and get that girl or what-you-ma-call-it off of her?! My hands are kind of full." his father asked, lifting his arms loaded with the pasta dishes he brought to exemplify his point.

"I'm on it Dad!" Lincoln responded, before taking off to give Lana's twin sister a hand.

Linus then stared at Mr. Loud for a second or two before turning to Lana.

"You know that thing that I told you that I needed help with?" Linus asked her.

"Yeah?"

* * *

"Well I need you to-"

"Let go of me!" Lola shouted as Luna continued her attempt to get the girl off of her.

"Come on dude. Let go of her! She isn't a real princess!" Luna said, trying to convince the toddler to come to her senses and release her sister from her grip.

Unfortunately for them, the girl just replied with "No! I want the pwincess!"

It was here, Lincoln then jumped into the action.

"Lincoln, where have you been?" Lori asked in her signature authoritative tone.

"Explain later. Right now-as much as I find it somewhat amusing-"

"Amusing?!"

"-I have to help Lola," he responded. With that he then went up to the girl who had a hold on Lana's twin sister and told her "Hey! Let go of my sister!"

The girl's only response was blowing a raspberry at him. He sighed in vexation at this, before taking hold of the girl's arms, hoping to pry her off of Lola. The more he successful he became in prying her away, the more frustrated the girl got. So out of anger, the girl then cinched her teeth into Lincoln's hand. This caused him yell out in pain and his family to gasp in shock.

"Aah! Ow! Get her off! I think she's teething!"

* * *

The bite she had Lincoln in was more painful than it looked. And boy was it agonizing for the white-haired fellow that everyone knew and loved. To him, it felt like someone was jamming a million needles into his hand.

* * *

"Hey, what's going over here?" a voice not to far away from the scene asked. The figure who had asked itself what was happening then caught glimpse of what was now going on. "Hey, you guys! I found her! She's over...Oh no. Not again. Come on you guys!"

"Okay. That's it! No more Mr. Nice Guy!" Luna yelled. She then turned to face her younger sister Lynn. The look on her face said "Lynn! Do something!" She then nodded in response.

Lynn then picked up her bat before walking over to the girl who currently had Lincoln's hand in her mouth, her leash in Luna's grip, and her younger sister in her grasp.

Lynn let out a sigh before saying "I really didn't wanna do this, but you left us no choice!" She then lifted her bat up in a manner similar to those who would hold a mallet in a high striker game at a carnival, before Rita stopped her.

"Lynn Jr. No!" Rita commanded sternly. Sure, she wanted the little tyke to let go of her children, but she didn't want her to to be put into a coma.

"Ugh. Fine." she replied in annoyance, putting the bat down and off to the side. But before she could step any closer to the four, a voice called out in their direction.

"Lulu! You stop that this instant!"

Everyone then turned to face a group of four people who had just arrived on the scene.

One of the adults in the group was a light-brown-haired man who appeared to be in his early twenties. The clothes that he wore consisted of a pair of light khakis, a light striped polo shirt, and black shoes. Unlike the other people in the group, he was the only one who had gray eyes.

The second adult in the group was a man who had the same hair color as the girl who had tackled Lola and was now biting Lincoln's arm. He didn't appear to be any older than twenty-three. He also seemed fairly tired, like he hasn't slept in awhile. His brown eyes were red. This appeared to be the case even more so when he shook his head, as if he was trying to snap himself back to reality. His bloodshot eyes even widened at the sight that he saw.

The next person in the group was a brunette girl who appeared to be around Lincoln's age. She was currently wearing a pink short-sleeved blouse, a pair of light blue jeans with a small heart imprinted on the side, and white shoes.

The last person was a teenage boy who had short hair that was also the same shade as Lynn Sr.'s. His clothing attire consisted of a pair of dark green cargo pants, white sneakers, and a dark green multi-pocket vest over a white t-shirt. Slung around his neck was a camera.

"Lulu, let them go immediately!" ordered the man with gray eyes. The girl, now identified as Lulu, didn't comply with him.

"Come on Lulu. Let them go." the man who appeared to be Lulu's father said, joining in. From the looks of it, he didn't appear to be fully awake. Also, Lulu still didn't budge.

"Is this your daughter?" Rita asked him, while delivering an glare that could kill even the most immortal beings.

"Um...sort of?" the man replied sheepishly. It was at this point, he was now fully awake and stopped dozing off.

"Well, wouldn't it be nice if you tried getting her off of my daughter and son?!"

"Most definitely." The man then made his way towards his daughter. "Okay Lulu. It's time for you to let go of them." His daughter still refused to cooperate.

"Okay I got this." the tweenaged girl said.

"You sure?" Lynn Sr. asked.

"Sure. Of course. I'm great with kids." she replied while making her way towards Lulu. She was just about to open her mouth to say something before the teenager with the camera slung over him intervened.

"Wait! Don't do anything yet!" he said. Everyone stopped just stared at him for moment, expecting him to do something useful. Much to their disappointment, all he did was snap a photo of the struggle that was going on at the moment. "Okay, continue." he said while getting out of the way of the girl. She just rolled her eyes at this.

She then went up to Lulu and clamped her thumb and index finger onto her nose and said to her in an authoritative tone, "If you ever want me to let go of your stupid nose, you better let go of that stupid twerp and that stupid boy."

Lulu finally got the message, and released Lola from her grasp and Lincoln's hand from her mouth.

Lincoln let out one last "Ow" after she released him from her grip.

"Thanks Lizzy." the man with gray eyes said.

"Don't mention it." the girl now identified as Lizzy replied.

"Oh, I am so sorry. I'm also really tired." the man with black hair said to both Lincoln and Lola, while taking Lulu's leash from Luna and rubbing his eyes to keep himself awake.

"Oh you better be. I got grass stains on my dress after she tackled me." Lola retorted, glaring him. "She also could've broken one of my bones when she tackled me and ruined my pageant career. Not to mention, she could've bitten Linky's hand straight off with the grip that she had him in."

"I really am sorry. It's just that, Lulu really loves princesses and she must have thought that you are one."

Lynn Sr. was just about to say something, but before he could talk, Linus came straight out of nowhere and shoved him back. This caused him to stumble back and before he knew it he tripped over something and fell on his back right onto to the ground, all while losing grip of the bowl and tray of food that he had in his hands. It wouldn't be long before the contents of the tray and bowl would be spilled out onto the dirt and grass.

"Hey! What the-"

"Linus! Did you just-"

"What the heck just happened?!"

"Lana, what are you-"

As it turned out, that "thing" Linus needed to do but needed help with, was shoving Lynn Sr. backwards while having another person get down on all fours and acting as what appeared to be something to trip over. The four-year-old managed to get Lana to be the one who gets down on all fours and act as the "tripping stool." To Lana's credit, he just told her to get down on all fours right behind her father. He didn't tell her that he would be shoving him back.

"What's going...Aaw... my Lynn-guini and Lynn-sagna are ruined!" Lynn Sr. said in despair. He then glanced over to Lana. "Lana? Why did you trip me?"

"Well... he told me to get down on all fours. He told me he needed help with something!" she said while pointing her finger at Linus. All eyes turned to him.

"The baby told me to do it!" he exclaimed in response.

While many such as Lincoln were in silence at what he just said, the four people who had just arrived on the scene just either facepalmed or rolled their eyes. Lincoln's nuclear family then turned their eyes towards Lily, who had her eyes widened in shock at what Linus had just said.

"No, not _that_ baby." he said in response.

"Ugh. This again?" Lizzy questioned in annoyance. She then turned to the others before continuing, "I'll explain later. But first.." she then took Linus by the arm and pulled him up to face Lynn Sr. "...apologize. NOW."

"But...the baby told me to-"

"NOW!"

"I'm sorry for pushing you."

"Much better."

"The _baby_ told him to do that?" Leni asked.

"Like she said, we'll explain it to you later," the man with gray eyes said before continuing with, "but right now we need to help your father up."

" _Okay. Well, I guess that was something that was able gone wrong._ _"_ Lincoln thought to himself, while nursing his hand that Lulu clamped her teeth on. _"Oh well, hopefully it can't get any worse than that. I mean the family -even Luan- can't do something that bad to ruin it..right?"_

 _To be continued._


End file.
